Today, I am at home with a migraine. I just took another dose of my pain medicine and this dose seems to (hopefully) have done the job. I am looking forward to being back at work tomorrow.

Even suffering through a tremendously painful migraine, I am trying to keep my life in perspective.

Yes, I missed work today with a migraine. Most of my day was spent with a pillow over my head, in a dark bedroom. The other part was lifting myself up to take care of my three-year-old to the best of my ability with this pain. I made him breakfast/lunch, and now my sweetness is laying next to me, watching Mario Brothers things on YouTube on my phone.

Yes, even removing the migraines from the equation, I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and also clinical depression. I have seen the horror of panic attacks first hand and lived through them.

Yes, my life can be "tough" with these medical issues.

But through all of this, I see where I have come from. All the glory goes to God. I am still thankful for my health.

You see, I do not have cancer. Or leukemia. Or MS. Or any other life altering, potentially fatal disease. I do not have high cholesterol or heart disease. I do not have kidney failure. I do not require anything other than medicines daily to keep these conditions under control and occasionally having to miss a day or two of work due to the pain of the migraines.

In keeping that perspective, I am able to give thanks through this. I am thankful that my Lord has prepared my doctors for the medical conditions I do have, and with the knowledge that he did bless a doctor/pharmacist/scientist somewhere to develop these medicines to help in the first place.

I am thankful that I do have my three-year-old, Jacob, and that even though he can be demanding... even with a throbbing headache I love him dearly and will pull myself up to be his mama.

Keeping this perspective helps me through the hard times. The rough times that I have come to deal with.

No matter what the situation, fix your eyes on God, and on the good that you have been blessed with. God is always there, in each trial. He will not let you down.

Life Changing.

As you all know, I have been on new medications since early January. Since the meds have fully "kicked in", I am absolutely mesmerized at how different my outlook on life has become.

On February 11th, our family has the opportunity to spend two days at Disney World with my mother-in-law & my father-in-law. I was hesitant but also excited. I was more worried about taking the Disney transportation since that is one of the areas where I had been struggling the most with my anxiety - being a passenger in a vehicle and "not having control". It also carried over to rides at Disney before, but I won't elaborate too much on that. You get the point.

As it turns out I was "worried" for nothing. With the medicine in my system for over a month at that point, Disney World was everything I hoped it would be. It was magical. I was happy as I could be. I not only went on rides, but I went on the Rock N Roller Coaster. I rode not one but two Disney buses around Fort Wilderness. I had an incredible time with everyone.

My second triumph came this past weekend. Hans and I wanted to go to Magic Kingdom (we bought seasonal passes). I still drive 95% of the time due to just not wanting to give up the habit of "me being in control of the wheel" and letting go of all my past worries in regards to that. Anyway, when I woke up Saturday morning to go to Disney, my contact lens in my right eye was extremely irritated. I tried changing lenses but it didn't work. If I was going to go to Disney, my husband had to drive. So without hesitation and with the help of my medicine and my change of mindset yet again -- I let him drive. There and back. To someone who hasn't dealt with anxiety and panic, this seems simple. For me, this was huge.

We went to Magic Kingdom and Jacob wanted to ride the monorail. Uh oh. I am nervous around enclosed spaces and again - there is that PassengerInAVehicleControl thing. For my son, I did it. I wanted him to experience that memory of the monorail. I rode that thing three times that day, and twice to EPCOT which is about a 10 minute stretch.

Then today, I bought my husband & I some food and couldn't carry it all up the stairs at work. For three years, I have taken four flights of stairs up and down, day by day, because I loathe elevators and the enclosed space there. Since my hands were full, I just went and took the elevator up. I didn't even think about it really. When I got off, Hans just happened to be there and the look on his face was priceless. He was so proud (and confused as to what he just saw LOL).

The short of it is - I feel like a "normal person" now. I enjoy so much more of my life. The little things really don't get to me. I take chances. I don't worry all the time, day in and day out. I am so thrilled that God has shown me healing in this area of my life. I know that it is something I will struggle with forever, but at this point in time, I feel like I can just live.

I find myself wanting to do things I would have never considered before. I want to fly on a plane somewhere with my husband (I've never flown before). I want to spend SO MUCH more time with Hans and want to take little vacations with him and plan more date nights. I love that man so much. So, so much. I thank him constantly for his love and support and for sticking with me through my disorder.

That's really all I have right now. Got to get the kids to bed. Will write more soon. :)