I am so incredibly blessed.

• I have a husband who loves me no matter how crazy I get.
• My kids are growing so fast and they adore me (most days).
• I have a mom that loves her grandbabies tremendously and watches them while Hans & I work.
• I have a job I thoroughly enjoy going to each and every workday. 
• I have in-laws that are so much fun that it is just a joy to be with them.
• We have a roof over our head.
• Food in our "tummies".
• We are able to enjoy the extras in life... vacations, Disney passes, etc.
• We have jobs that we can have evenings and weekends with our kids.
• We have (mostly) well behaved kids that know that they must respect their elders, and say "please" and "thank you".
• My oldest son loves the Lord and is a born-again Christian.
• Our youngest loves the Lord and is learning what it means to become a born-again Christian.
• We have a church with an amazing program for adults, youth, and a Pastor that is a man after God's heart. Not to mention a church family that truly is like family.

I am just so thankful today for everything that God has blessed us with. I am "counting my blessings" today.

I am so undeserving!

Happy 2013 Everyone!

A new year.

A fresh start.

I am so incredibly blessed in my life. This year I want to take more time to sit back and enjoy what I have and the people I have around me, and try not to worry and complain as much.

I am blessed that I have a wonderful "homegrown" family with myself, my husband, and our two sons Brad & Jake. Last night we were able to stay home together as a family and just enjoy each other. We all watched Dick Clark's New Years Eve special on ABC and Brad would play his guitar off & on while Jake went and ran around the house, played with army men or whatever he could get his hands on. We went outside at 8pm and lit off our fireworks. We laughed and we played and we made jokes. When a couple minutes to midnight came about, we all gathered together on the couch. Jacob on Hans' lap and Brad beside me. We counted down together, then screamed "Happy New Year!" with the rest of America. Afterward we heard and saw lots of fireworks going off from our sunroom, so we went outside and enjoyed seeing our neighbors and their families celebrating as well.

As far as "resolutions" - we have none. We do have goals, however.

Hans and I have already started a healthier lifestyle plan about a week ago. We rejoined our gym and have been going regularly. We stopped eating white bread, drinking sodas, eating the amount of sweets several times daily that we once were, and are dedicating ourselves to a healthier lifestyle of food and fitness. It is part wanting to lose the 30 pounds I've gained in 6 months and 40 pounds Hans has gained... but it is also to set a better example of how to eat proper foods for our children.  Am I going 100% organic? No. Am I never going to eat another bacon cheeseburger? Of course not. Everything is fine in moderation - but before we weren't listening to the moderation part! :)

We also want to dedicate ourselves to spending more time in God's Word, and in the church helping and assisting where we can. Where God wants us. Where God needs us. I have a great job now so my migraines have mostly subsided. My old job was one of the triggers because I was under so much stress each minute of each day I was there. My depression and anxiety has also taken a back seat. I can live my life now much more freely so I want to take my thankfulness for that and put time back into my church.

Additionally - I want to continue to move toward earning my Business degree. I started college again in October 2012 and am looking forward to more classes and getting that much closer.

A whole new year awaits. What will you do this year to make it memorable?

Christmas in South Florida!

Why hello there, Blogger! I haven't seen you in ages. It has been so long in fact that I am not used to the new layout of posting! :) Anyway... to begin with...

...Our Christmas this year was fantastic and will be remembered as one of the best that we have had. Not for the presents that any one person received, but for the quality of time we were able to spend with family. This year we went down to South Florida (Cooper City, FL to be exact) to my husband's parent's house. We arrived on Friday night and spent some time with his parents, and his sister and niece - Lil & Ava. We arrived around 10pm so soon after that we just went to bed.

The next morning (Saturday) we had breakfast and went to the grocery store to get a couple things. Mostly just enjoyed each other's company and hung around the house. Lanie, Jim, and Austin (my sister/brother-in-law and nephew) arrived at 6pm and from there Bradley & Austin were inseperable! They haven't seen eachother since last year and they are close in age (12 & 15). They would play Monopoly on Austin's Kindle Fire and - since Austin has his learner's permit - Lanie would take Austin to practice driving and Brad would tag along. I was able to cook dinner for everyone and we all ate and just talked.  Later that evening at 11pm Hans & I went to Walmart because we are crazy to get some last minute items for Brad, Jake, and the "white elephant" gift exchange for the adults. More about that later... :)

The grandkids - Austin (15), Ava (2), Bradley (12), and Jacob (4)

Sunday was a nice, lazy day. We are breakfast, played Catchphrase, Lanie and Hans worked on a puzzle on the back porch, Brad - Austin - and Jake all played together. Lil, Tom, and Ava came later and then we all played with Ava and watched her run around with Jake. It was so fun seeing Ava and Jake play together... and they played together so well! She is 2 and Jake is 4 so again, they are close in age like Brad & Austin are. It works out very well. Later we had burgers for lunch & pizza for dinner. Wait... what was I doing most of the day, you ask? I was laying on the couch watching movies. Yep. I was relaxing! Later on, their cousins (and my cousin in laws...?) Brent and his wife Dely came over with their kids, Dani & Brandon. We were able to get some great photos and again, the more the merrier. We had a great time with them.

(Jake, Ava, and Brandon on the piano)

(Front row: Dani, Ava, Brandon, Jake -- Back row: Lanie, Austin, Brent, Hans, Brad, and Lil)

That evening - Hans and I realized we still had to wrap every present we had bought all through the year! Yes, we went to South Florida with our presents unwrapped, in boxes. All of them. So we spent the next hour or two wrapping lots and lots of small and large presents for the kids, from Brad and Jake to Ava and Austin. Finally, around midnight, we went to bed.

(Brad playing Catchphrase)

Monday (Christmas Eve) was very pleasant. Cooking began very early in the morning for our Christmas Eve meal. In between all the cooking, we went over to Potential Church where my in-laws attend and enjoyed their Christmas Eve Candlelight Service and sermon. Pastor Troy Gramling is a good speaker.

We ate dinner later that evening. It was incredible. We had roast turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, dinner rolls, olives, cranberry sauce, stuffing, gravy made from scratch... My mother-in-law is a great cook! After dinner and cleaning up - the games began. Ava and Jake played together while the rest of us (adults and teens) played the games for our Christmas Eve celebration! This has begun a new tradition in the Reller/Krasnor/Sheets Christmases for sure.

To start: We played a scavenger hunt that Lil made up. It all took place in the back yard. We were put on separate teams ("Team Frosty" and "Team Prancer") and then beginning with one clue we had to find the next clue and so on... until we got to clue ten where the winner was chosen. I was on "Team Frosty" and we won... YAY! :)

The next game we played was "Minute to Win It" - Christmas style. These were the games that my mother & father-in-law thought of. We had to hang ornaments on a yard stick suspended on an empty paper towel roll. The one with the most on there in a minute wins. Well, my mother & father-in-law dominated and won! After that, we had to take metal hardware nuts on a candy cane and stack them from the candy cane onto a table, one on top of the other. Jim won this round as he was able to get all ten stacked in no time, while the rest of us did six, seven, or they would topple over.

(Geoff & Gail win it all!!)

 The last game we played was a card game called "Spoons". We went through several rounds, starting with ten people and then it came down to two. Father vs son, Hans vs Brad! Hans ultimately "won" but there is always next year for a rematch! By the time this was done, it was 10pm so we all got the kids in bed and went to bed ourselves, so we could be up bright and early for Christmas.

(Clockwise from left: Lanie, Hans, Austin, Gail, Brad, and Tom)

The next morning, Brad was up at 7am. Jacob and Austin wanted to sleep longer so they slept until Ava got there (with Lil & Tom) at 8am. From that point, it was eating breakfast, drinking coffee, and watching the kids open gift after gift. They are so blessed and they had so much fun! Ava received a "Doc McStuffins" doctor set and she kept walking around and giving her mom Lil a pretend bandaid. Jake got an Iron Man dress up costume and so he was walking around most of the day dressed up as Iron Man. Austin's big gift was an iPod Nano and a gaming chair, so he and Brad (who also got a gaming chair) were sitting next to eachother, in the chairs, streaming Coldplay over the speakers in the chairs. It was a lot of fun being around everyone and again - very memorable.

We left at 2pm that afternoon and arrived home at 6pm. The rest of the night was unpacking, cleaning, laundry, and trying to relax a little in between as the hubby and I both had work early the next morning.

Here are some more pictures from Christmas... enjoy!

What's new?

Well, I can see that it has been quite a while since I have posted an update, so here goes nothing! This is what has been happening in the Reller Household since the last post.

My migraines had begun to occur more often and I was missing a lot of work. I had spoken with my doctor on numerous occasions and also to my therapist. Both of them (after trying all sorts of migraine medicines) said that they believe that my migraines are "tension migraines" and may be triggered by stress primarily. That being said, my job was crazy stressful. I put a lot of stress on myself naturally, and not promoting and other things at _______ was just too much for me.

So. I left.

I applied at _______ University after talking with one of my good friends who works there. He suggested I apply because they needed help in Student Finance, so I did so, and after a couple weeks of background checks, testing, and interviews, I learned I got the job! My last day at my old job was back on June 15th.

Right now I am still in training, but I couldn't be happier. From the outside looking in now, my old company was really putting a lot of stress on me to be more perfect than I wanted to be. They had an "all or nothing" attitude (not any specific person - my supervisors and management were AWESOME, just the company politics in general) - and that was wearing me thin.

I love my commute. I love my new coworkers but miss my old ones. Change is just that, change. And I am going with it for my health.

Secondly, we celebrated Jacob's 4th birthday on June 16th at our home. We had a HUGE inflatable water slide that we borrowed from the church in the back yard, and everyone had a wonderful time. It is hard to believe that he is already four. years. old. We also celebrated Brad's 12th birthday in May!! He just wanted to go see "The Avengers" in IMAX, and we also got him a mic for his PS3. 12 & 4. Where has the time gone?

Thirdly, our very good friends Gary & Alicia (who were also the youth pastor & his wife at our church) left in May for Fairfax, VA. Gary accepted a position as a Youth Pastor at Fairfax Baptist Temple. While they are soooooo missed, I couldn't be happier for them. They are amazing people and are going to do amazing things in that area, I just know it. The husband & I are planning on going to visit them up north in October and attend their church's Couples Retreat. It will be my first time on an airplane. Yikes! :)

Well, that is all I can think of for now. :)

Til next time,
K.

Perspective.

Today, I am at home with a migraine. I just took another dose of my pain medicine and this dose seems to (hopefully) have done the job. I am looking forward to being back at work tomorrow.

Even suffering through a tremendously painful migraine, I am trying to keep my life in perspective.

Yes, I missed work today with a migraine. Most of my day was spent with a pillow over my head, in a dark bedroom. The other part was lifting myself up to take care of my three-year-old to the best of my ability with this pain. I made him breakfast/lunch, and now my sweetness is laying next to me, watching Mario Brothers things on YouTube on my phone.

Yes, even removing the migraines from the equation, I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and also clinical depression. I have seen the horror of panic attacks first hand and lived through them.

Yes, my life can be "tough" with these medical issues.

But through all of this, I see where I have come from. All the glory goes to God. I am still thankful for my health.

You see, I do not have cancer. Or leukemia. Or MS. Or any other life altering, potentially fatal disease. I do not have high cholesterol or heart disease. I do not have kidney failure. I do not require anything other than medicines daily to keep these conditions under control and occasionally having to miss a day or two of work due to the pain of the migraines.

In keeping that perspective, I am able to give thanks through this. I am thankful that my Lord has prepared my doctors for the medical conditions I do have, and with the knowledge that he did bless a doctor/pharmacist/scientist somewhere to develop these medicines to help in the first place.

I am thankful that I do have my three-year-old, Jacob, and that even though he can be demanding... even with a throbbing headache I love him dearly and will pull myself up to be his mama.

Keeping this perspective helps me through the hard times. The rough times that I have come to deal with.

No matter what the situation, fix your eyes on God, and on the good that you have been blessed with. God is always there, in each trial. He will not let you down.

Life Changing.

As you all know, I have been on new medications since early January. Since the meds have fully "kicked in", I am absolutely mesmerized at how different my outlook on life has become.

On February 11th, our family has the opportunity to spend two days at Disney World with my mother-in-law & my father-in-law. I was hesitant but also excited. I was more worried about taking the Disney transportation since that is one of the areas where I had been struggling the most with my anxiety - being a passenger in a vehicle and "not having control". It also carried over to rides at Disney before, but I won't elaborate too much on that. You get the point.

As it turns out I was "worried" for nothing. With the medicine in my system for over a month at that point, Disney World was everything I hoped it would be. It was magical. I was happy as I could be. I not only went on rides, but I went on the Rock N Roller Coaster. I rode not one but two Disney buses around Fort Wilderness. I had an incredible time with everyone.

My second triumph came this past weekend. Hans and I wanted to go to Magic Kingdom (we bought seasonal passes). I still drive 95% of the time due to just not wanting to give up the habit of "me being in control of the wheel" and letting go of all my past worries in regards to that. Anyway, when I woke up Saturday morning to go to Disney, my contact lens in my right eye was extremely irritated. I tried changing lenses but it didn't work. If I was going to go to Disney, my husband had to drive. So without hesitation and with the help of my medicine and my change of mindset yet again -- I let him drive. There and back. To someone who hasn't dealt with anxiety and panic, this seems simple. For me, this was huge.

We went to Magic Kingdom and Jacob wanted to ride the monorail. Uh oh. I am nervous around enclosed spaces and again - there is that PassengerInAVehicleControl thing. For my son, I did it. I wanted him to experience that memory of the monorail. I rode that thing three times that day, and twice to EPCOT which is about a 10 minute stretch.

Then today, I bought my husband & I some food and couldn't carry it all up the stairs at work. For three years, I have taken four flights of stairs up and down, day by day, because I loathe elevators and the enclosed space there. Since my hands were full, I just went and took the elevator up. I didn't even think about it really. When I got off, Hans just happened to be there and the look on his face was priceless. He was so proud (and confused as to what he just saw LOL).

The short of it is - I feel like a "normal person" now. I enjoy so much more of my life. The little things really don't get to me. I take chances. I don't worry all the time, day in and day out. I am so thrilled that God has shown me healing in this area of my life. I know that it is something I will struggle with forever, but at this point in time, I feel like I can just live.

I find myself wanting to do things I would have never considered before. I want to fly on a plane somewhere with my husband (I've never flown before). I want to spend SO MUCH more time with Hans and want to take little vacations with him and plan more date nights. I love that man so much. So, so much. I thank him constantly for his love and support and for sticking with me through my disorder.

That's really all I have right now. Got to get the kids to bed. Will write more soon. :)

Happy Birthday, Hans!

Yesterday, we celebrated my husband's 29th birthday.

He couldn't decide where he wanted to go for his birthday dinner, so I chose for him and it was a surprise. Really - it was between two places: Texas de Brazil in Tampa and Shula's Steakhouse at the Dolphin Hotel at Walt Disney World. He knew where we were going when I chose to go "eastbound" on I-4. ;)

We got there for our 7:00pm reservation (grandma had the kids!) and were promptly greeted by a hostess who took us to our table and showed us the original menu (a football signed by Don Shula). Then our waiter Carlos came and went over the menu and each cut of steak with us.

I ordered the 22oz Bone-In Ribeye and Hans ordered the 24oz Porterhouse. We shared a double baked potato with White Cheddar Cheese on top. The meal was absolutely incredible. I have eaten at many steakhouses locally and also in the Tampa & Orlando areas, and nothing can touch the quality thus far that we experienced there at Shula's. Of course, I haven't eaten at Bern's Steakhouse yet. :)

After dinner, we walked over to Disney's Boardwalk and just walked around and enjoyed each other's company. By then it was about 8:45pm. We watched a couple street performers who juggled, balanced on small rolling pipes, and did all sorts of tricks. One even picked me to help out with the show. At first I was nervous but I did very well (I tossed the juggling items to him while he was balanced about 5' off the ground). We left at around 10:00pm and got home at 11:00pm - to our wide awake boys waiting for us with Grandma.

I actually let the boys stay up and play until 11:30pm last night, while I laid on the couch with Hans and just reflected on how blessed I am. How happy I am now. I am slow to anger. I am constantly smiling. I am no longer a pessimist. I don't dwell on the negative but find myself constantly looking for the positive. I could have been angry the kids were still up running around. I could have been exhausted and cranky. But I wasn't. I watched Brad play his PS3 and Jacob run and try to tackle him - to get his attention - while he was playing and thought how lucky I am. I am lucky that I have a man who loves me so much and two kids who call me "mom". I have a mom who adores her grandbabies and will bend over backwards for them and for us at the drop of a hat. I have a home. I have food. God loves us. Thanks to Jesus, I am Saved. The time the kids went to bed didn't matter at that moment. I just wanted to watch them happy and playing. Bradley is 11, almost 12. Before I know it he will be leaving for college. I am going to enjoy every moment from now on.

Just a reflection on my part. Also wanted to wish my husband, again, a wonderful 29th birthday. Thank you so much for loving me, Hans.